I love it when friends and family come over or when I am invited to friends’ and families’ homes, however when it is time for the good-byes I simply detest ending it.
My mornings for me are sacred; I am talking about 4 am or 5 am mornings, everyone is still sleeping. I wake up, make my cup of coffee, drink it slowly and start my day! I enjoy this time so much that I hate to wake everyone up. But I need to go to work, my kids need to be in school…well, hubby is already out of the house; (he’s the one that wakes me in the mornings) so grudgingly I wake up the family and crabbily we set out and start the day. By the time I’m out of the shower I am somewhat normal, and by the time we are on our way to school and work we are all good. Weekends I treasure this alone time and try to push it as late as possible.
I experienced some challenges in 2012 and I hope that all of that could be resolved….I hope and keep my fingers crossed. Truthfully as I write about this I realize that my troubles are so insignificant compared to the whole scheme of things, because the reality is I am truly very lucky. After many years of trying to be a mommy I have two great kids that I am so proud of both of them and all they have accomplished. I married to my best friend. They are my family and my compass; they keep me grounded and always love me no matter what. On days where I feel that I am being used, abused or not appreciated (I don’t mean from them) they love me more and that makes all the difference in the world!
Horrible things happened in 2012; things that we had no control; hurricanes, or super storms that destroyed lives, properties and families and what I actually mean is even the non-affected were affected – I know that homes are buildings, structures and material but more than that a home is, it is also a state of mind. I hope and pray that everyone that suffered a loss of any kind is at peace; I hope that someone like me will always know and understand that we are all fragile and that things can change with a snap of a finger. I hope I won’t forget that.
Our Christmas was wonderful James and Amelia was happy with all their gifts, and Mom and Dad were shocked because as much as I whine about Christmas; somehow it all got done and we were able to celebrate a magical Christmas!
Sadly, the holiday season was tainted with a horrendous violent act and I pray daily for the 20 children and the 6 adults who left our world too soon. I pray that all the families and surviving children in Sandy Hook find peace and are embraced by everyone’s empathy. I also want you all to know that because of this horrific crime; I am hugging Amelia and James more, letting them eat their candy too, and hopefully not nagging them too much!
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One Comment
tammy j
i promise not to comment on every single post! LOL.
i am going to keep reading though.
but i also want to say this …
since it was months ago now ~ as i'm writing this in may and you wrote this post in december of last year ~ perhaps all is well now…
whatever was causing such pain.
i know one thing.
toxic people come in all shapes, ages, sizes and labels. some are family members. others are friends. others can be co-workers or even a boss. (that is a tricky one. but can still be done mentally if not possibly physically.)
the only way to keep them from destroying your soul ~ at least to my mind ~ is to make a clean break. not in anger. simply in self defense.
the same way you would defend your child from being bullied or hurt continuously.
no person has the right to inflict hurt or guilt or pain onto ANYONE else. EVER.
this was hard for me to learn. i lost what i thought was a good friend because of it. but my life felt like i'd let LIGHT into it when she was gone from it. i never looked back. and i don't regret it. and i grew stronger for it.
i don't mean to sound preachy! i only hope to give you a strength and insight from my own experience. xo dear heart. your real family is the 5 of you. counting tiny teddy of course! LOL.