Just thinking…

Does everyone know who this lovely woman is? Her name is Jodie Foster.I have always admired her talent, wit, and intelligence, as well as her acting and her movies. A few years ago, I mentioned Jodie Foster to someone and his or her response was; oh I don’t care for her work because she is always playing these type of women that are just not her, you know unbelievable, huh I thought …I didn’t see her like that, always liked her!
Since then I have shifted the thought a bit, not towards Ms. Foster, but about me. Therefore, I often wonder if I am viewed by my friends, family, and colleagues as someone who doesn’t fit the part.
I think about this because it seems that everything I do or have done has been an uphill battle.  I won’t get into specifics, but pretty much everything…and you know how you hear of stories that are amazing and wonderful?  Then they are interviewed, and asked was it hard for you?
Their answer is, It was a battle of wills, but along the way, I have encountered angels, and certain people came into my life just to get me to this point.”
I know I am very lucky I have good friends, a great family yet there are days that I could use a cheerleader…those are the days I think… any minute now someone is going to call me a fraud! Look I am really trying without having to explain myself…the things I do or need to do, I  do, but more importantly, I can do. Yet, at times when I try to explain my actions, it sounds or I am made to feel my explanations are only excuses…they are not I assure you! I write because it makes me feel good…it is therapeutic and healing!
 So in the lovely words of Jodie Foster,
“But it will be my writing on the wall.
Jodie Foster Marisa was here,
I still am, and I want to be seen,
to be understood deeply
and to be not so very lonely. “ 
Jodie Foster – 2013 Golden Globes
 
 

 


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2 Comments

  • tammy j

    i LIED in the last comment . . . promising no more. LOLOL. i just had to write one here.
    and I have to say this . . . you just do not see it. you must be too close to the forest to see the trees!
    maybe you have glimpses of it. on good days. but on days that you doubt or wonder. READ THIS.
    i cannot know that you don't understand how very special you are.
    to be the loving wife that you are to nick . . . and to make such a beautiful home full of wonderful food and elegant simplicity . . . and warmth. and to hold down a job too! and to do all this in an economy that has TANKED. it's incredible.
    and most important of all . . . to be the good mother you are to those two adorable little children.
    that is the most amazing thing of all. if you never do another thing in your life!!! that you took on two little ones who didn't even speak your language . . . to nurture them and love them and make them feel secure enough in that new love to not only survive this new land and their new lives . . . but to THRIVE!
    both amelia and james will be your treasures. yours and nick's. what a family you are.
    i am proud to know you darling girl. just proud to know you!

  • Marisa B

    Oh Tammy thank you…its true some time to see you need to step back….but at times I think everyone can use a cheerleader for me some days I am wearing my combat boots and dealing with all, other days I have a red nose and juggling it all as well …then there those days when combat boots are not enough when the juggling is a struggle and those are the days that I stray and crave for appreciation from unlikely sources and feel a void …but the those same days I drive into my driveway look inside my kitchen and see my family coming to the door waving at me because I am home…see that's what matter you are absolutely right!

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