I once was confident.

What has been my best decade thus far?
I was not going to answer this prompt at all; I looked at it once in the last couple of days …and thought, I have no idea. Then I thought, wow what if I did not have one yet. Which was followed with, what if I wouldn’t have one at all?
 
Tonight, moments ago, I was sitting at my desk, I did not have Word open to start writing, I had BlogHer open and my emails. I reread the post I wrote last night, that I  posted on Tuesday.  I read a couple of other posts from other bloggers and perused Facebook.  
 
So at this point, motivated to write a post, I am still not sure what I want to write.
 
I thought tomorrow is July 30, maybe my Simple Abundance book can guide me to a writing frenzy.   Do you remember that book; I lived and breathed this book when it came out
 
Simple Abundance; A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach – it’s a cherish to me, I still on occasion go to it for comfort.  Nevertheless, not tonight – no… tomorrow’s date is not so inspiring.
 
What do I write about tonight for tomorrow’s post?  I closed all my windows; emails, Blogher and Bloglovin and finally Facebook – last face I see is my very good friend Christine.  I look at the suggested prompts and read.
 
What has been my best decade thus far? 
 
It came to me; my twenties –
 
I wouldn’t actually say my twenties was the best decade, but without this time, I wouldn’t be who I am today. My twenties did not make me the woman I am today, no it didn’t; it simply made me a woman.
 
Straight out of school we married, I looked like a 10 year old and he looked like a twelve year old.  We set up house, went out to work, and we haven’t stopped since.  We made friends, had fun, fun at our house, fun outside the home, fun with our friends, we welcomed every celebration with joy and happiness.  I call them the days of wine and roses, filled with laughter. I had more energy and exuberance, if I had an ounce of that today it would be my superpower.   
 
Was I happy?  Yes! I was married to a wonderful man; whom not only was my love, he was my friend.  We had our whole life ahead of us.  I was no longer the awkward teenager but now a confident adult with a job, an adorable apartment, a bunch of great friends, and a husband.
 
Do you know what the key word in the above paragraph is?
 
CONFIDENT – In my twenties I became confident-  without this time  I could not have faced the future,  I would  not  have had the nerve to enroll in acting school  at thirty years  old,  I could not have faced  miscarriages and infertility – I could not have been brave enough to except  my destiny and fate.
 
I’m not in my twenties anymore …but you know what I once was – I once was confident.
 
 

 


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4 Comments

  • Silvana

    You still are confident….one day you will look back at this time and say wow….we traveled to Russia. We brought home our children. We taught them, fraught for tem, taught them how to love and trust…..one day you will look back and say….wow, how did we do it! Enjoy each day because each day is a gift!

  • Poppy

    Your confidence shines through your posts, Marisa; it's a quiet, modest confidence, and not a showy one. I sense that, perhaps, at this age, you are also more aware of your own character, having lived through many experiences that showcased its qualities.

    Poppy

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